The Secret I've Been Keeping

I haven't been blogging for a while for a few different reasons but the main one was that I didn't feel that I had anything to say.  There was no progress on the adoption or citizenship fronts, and then there was the thing I didn't feel ready to share yet.  I think you'll probably read this and laugh, maybe wonder why we're bothering or why I kept it a secret- I mean, really, the blog is private now so everything's pretty secret anyway, right? 
  Drum roll please... D is in Texas right now for his sixth interview for a job there.  He would really love the work and it would be really nice for him to be excited about his job again.  The technology he would be working with there if does get the job would be top-of-the-line, boundary-pushing stuff and I think he would really enjoy the challenge of that kind of work every day.  He had his (grueling, it sounds like) all-day interview on Friday and was told he might hear something today.  He spent the weekend house-hunting just in case but now Monday is over there in Texas and he still hasn't heard one way or another.
  This wait has really taken its toll on us and I'm having to shift from a future-focused perspective to one that is centered on this day, because I have no control over what the future will hold for us.  It's entirely in someone elses hands whether or not D gets the job, even though I know he did the best he could in the interview.  If he does get the job, it's still not certain that he can accept it because we'll need a salary high enough that the whole family can live on it and he'll need to work out the specifics of a starting day that works with the 90-day notice we're required to give here.  That's so much "if" that I really can't even think about it any more. 
  We'll know or we won't.  Either way, I'm left just putting one foot in front of the other and trying to enjoy the day that I have since that's the only thing that's certain for now.  And that doesn't leave much to blog about. 

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