Maybe I'll Laugh About This Later

September 30, 2015

  Maybe I'll laugh with D about this later but right now, all I want to do is tear my hair out and sob.  Elizabeth was supposed to fly to Kwaj with the baby today but she wasn't on the plane.  I didn't stay long to talk to Job when he arrived but it sounds like they thought I bought the ticket on Air Marshall Islands rather than United. 
  It sounds like a joke, right?  A simple cultural miscommunication: "their" go-to airline is AMI and "ours" is United. It never occurred to me to clarify which airline I'd bought the ticket on.  Funny, right?  It might be except that I've been so spun up by everything surrounding this adoption that I'm just wrecked by this falling through.
  There was a plan (I should know by now better than to hang my hopes on plans made in the Marshall Islands!) for Elizabeth to arrive today and finish the custody paperwork with Job before the weekend.  The baby was going to come to stay with us starting Saturday.  I was ready for the challenge, ready for the distraction, and really ready to have some kind of answer to all this. 
   I'm sure someday this will be funny.  Someday this will be a great part of Earth's story, and I know that everything happens for a reason, bur right now, I just want my baby home with me.

High Five #26: By the Numbers

September 24, 2015

High five my friends, it's Friday!  Since I'm very outnumbered here right now, I thought I do this week's review by the numbers. 

 In our house right now, the parent-to-kid ratio is a little skewed.  It's currently 1:3 because D got on an airplane the other day.  He's flying off to all these places
 to do something that has to do with what was put on hold when we found out about this little number:

Meet Earth

September 22, 2015

We've been told that the family wants to go ahead with the adoption so I think some introductions are in order.
World, meet Earth:

Baby News

September 16, 2015

  Elizabeth delivered this beautiful baby boy into the world yesterday. Isn't he perfect?  They've named him Telenken after her father.  
  My heart is so conflicted.  I hate being in this place, of not knowing if he's ours and hating that if he does become ours, it's a loss to her.  Elizabeth has told me that she would like to keep a boy, since family has taken her older two and they placed Fire with us.  There are so many other factors in the decision though, like what her husband and her mother want, that it's not as simple as you might think it is.  Adoption is a terrible and a wonderful thing.  A blessing for one family means a loss to another.

The Evolution of a Photograph

September 15, 2015

  Since I've got a terrible head cold and ear infection this week, I'm going to phone it in a little bit with this photo series.  I considered titling this post Little Brothers Are Annoying but didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea about Fire.  He's usually a pretty good little brother but he was on a real tear the other night while D was trying to take a picture of Sky and I.  I think the photos say it best:

A Chopper Ride to Roi

September 12, 2015

  I was lucky enough to get to ride in a helicopter twice this week and I was able to get some great pictures on one of the trips.  I love these rare opportunities to get an up-close and unique view of the atoll.  Even after six years here, the beauty of it amazes me!

High Five for Friday #25: Fashion Blogger Fail Edition

September 10, 2015

 High Five for Friday, everyone!  Hurray for the weekend!  Most of this week's five involve clothes so I guess this is where you learn why I'm not a fashion blogger.

I thought I'd try something new this week for the blog: Island Fashion.  Don't go book marking my page just yet, because it looks like it's going to be non-starter.  I only remembered to take pictures of my outfits two days this week and while I do put effort into what I wear, these clothes don't really lend themselves to fashion blogging!

High Five for Friday #24: Anniversary Edition

September 4, 2015

  High Five for Friday and congrats on making it through another week!  I don't know about you but I'm ready for a three day weekend.  As long as the weather cooperates, we'll be spending a big part of ours in classic Kwaj style: at the beach. 
  How was your week?  Ours was pretty good- a few highs and not too many lows.  Here's a quick recap:

D and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary this week.  We talked about doing something special but ended up just meeting for lunch and then watching a movie together that evening.  We are some hard partiers!

Sky and The Angry Tiger

September 2, 2015

 Sky face was tear-stained and my arm was bruised from where she'd been kicking me.  My whole body was tired from trying to hold her while she flailed and Sky's eyes were red from the intense rubbing she does when she's stressed these days.  I was doing my best to calm her after one of her rages and we were finally moving towards regulation.  Sky had stopped rocking, was breathing slower, and nodded her head just a little when I asked if I could go get her a graham cracker.  This tantrum had started when Sky asked for something she knew she couldn't have and quickly grew out of control in part because she hadn't eaten much that day. 
  When I came back with the graham cracker, Sky was still where I'd left her waiting on her butterfly rug (a good sign- if she'd been hiding, we might have had to go through all this again before I could get her to eat).  I sat down across from her on the floor, gave her the cracker, and asked, "Sky, did you feel like you were in control of your body just now or did it feel like there was an angry tiger in control?"
  She didn't take her eyes off her graham cracker but answered in a tiny whisper, "Angry tiger".  She nibbled at her cracker, then looked at me and asked, "Mama, how do you know about the angry tiger?"  Sky looked so relieved, like I'd opened a secret door she didn't know she was trying to keep closed.

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