New Beginnings

July 15, 2015

  Two wonderful new beginnings have happened since I posted about Sky and I and our argument.  As far as the time they took, they were very little things but I'm guessing (hoping?) that the effect they will have on our lives will be pretty big. 

  The first one is that I found Sky's birth mother.  Such a short sentence to capture such a big moment.  We've never met Sky's Mommy A but I knew her name so I've done internet searches every once in a while to see if I could find her.  I didn't know if she would want anything to do with Sky or us but I knew that someday Sky would have questions that only she could answer, so I kept looking.  I was shocked to find an active f@cebook profile for her, since I've looked there before.  I sent her a friend request and a message and later in the evening, this happened:

  Sky's Mommy A accepted my friend request and reached out to us on a picture I'd posted of Sky.  She sent a picture of Sky's brother J and we compared names and birth dates, a round-about way of making sure we were all talking about the same special girl.  And we were so she asked about Skyping.  I said, "Sure", we traded Skype names, and agreed to talk more tomorrow.
  We've never talked much with Sky about her Mommy A, mainly because there wasn't much to say.  While we may never know her reasons for making the choices she did, we've told Sky that Mommy A couldn't take care of her and that she left Sky with her Aunt A so that we could find her. The morning after our conversation on f@cebook, I showed Sky the pictures.  I answered her questions and then asked if she wanted to talk to Mommy A on the computer.  She said, "Yes", so before dinner that evening, I called them on Skype.
  We only talked for about 10 minutes and I ended up doing all the talking.  Sky is pretty shy until she's comfortable with people but she stayed on my lap the whole time, so her Mommy A got to see her face, even if she was quiet.  I told them what she does for fun, how Sky loves to dance, that she'll start Kindergarten in the fall, and that she's a great big sister.  I asked if Sky's Mommy A had any questions for us and when she didn't, I made some small talk with J and then found a reason to end the call.
  I don't know how often Sky's Mommy A will want to have contact with us but I'm hopeful that we can stay in touch, for Sky's sake.  So far, there hasn't been any fall out from the conversation but we haven't had much of a chance to talk about either.

  The other beginnings that's is that I had my first meeting with our new therapist.  I'm over the moon about being able to talk to someone about Sky and how to help her.  She asked great questions and gave us some tips on how to move forward.  It was really nice to find out some of the reasons why Sky behaves the way she does and that she's not just willful or disobedient, she genuinely has some difficulties that we need to help her with.  The therapist gave me some homework and we set up a meeting for next week.  I'm excited to try the new ways of interacting with Sky and I'm hopeful that using these new techniques will allow Sky and I to connect better and butt heads less.

  Such small moments, minutes and hours, pass so quickly but every one is a chance for a new beginning...

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