This Week: Goods and Bads

January 9, 2015

Goods
 
 
This was a great week!  Sure, we had our ups and downs but even the downs weren't that low.  No big issues came up and no big problems were solved.  We were just able to enjoy each other's company and do the things we like to do.  I wish I could bottle this week and save it.  I would open it when things are reversed and I can't think of anything to type for the this part of the review because the whole week has been awful.
Some highlights from our week: dinner with friends, evening walks, a bingo night out with my girlfriends, kids playing quietly, and the baby rolling all over the place
 
Bads
I have no idea what to do about Water's nanny.  I keep thinking I have it figured out and then I waffle.  Here's the situation:  Ms B is Water's nanny and our housekeeper.  Although she has worked for us since the middle of October, she's really only been with us for two months because she was gone for most of December to take her son to the hospital on Majuro.  From the beginning, while he was never neglected, I've thought that she focused too much on cleaning the house and didn't give Water the attention he needed.  We would come home from work to find the house sparkling clean and the baby in his bouncy chair, the same place he'd been that morning.  To explain Ms B's side, she's Marshallese (they have a different way of raising children) and has 10 kids and a sick husband, so she's used to having to be much more economical with her time.  I get that, but this is my kid and I want him paid attention to. 
We were told about a position coming open for him at the same daycare that Sky and Fire attend and I was all set to sign Water up.  I even started to look for other people for Ms B to work for as a house keeper since I knew she needed the money.  I was excited because the baby teacher is fabulous and I knew that she cherish Water and I liked that Sky and Fire would get to see their baby brother throughout the day.  Unfortunately, the family ahead of us on the wait list changed their mind and decided that they wanted the position after all so we were back to needing to keep Ms B. 
Since it looked like we were in it for the long haul with her, I started being more specific with my instructions to her about his care.  I made it clear that Water came before cleaning the house, that she should take him for a walk every morning, that he needs to spend time on his back and his tummy every day, that we didn't want him in his chair all day, and that when she's done cleaning and watches TV (which we are fine with), that I wanted her to be holding him or playing with him at the same time. 
This last week has been better.  She's been more attentive to him when I'm there homeschooling Sky in the mornings and I've been coming home at different times in the evening and she's been holding or playing with the baby every time.  Great, right?
Except that now there is another position coming open at the CDC and Water is at the top of the list. What do I do?  Do I put him in daycare where I know he'll be loved, actively engaged, and a little spoiled every day or do I keep him with Ms B who really needs the work and although she is doing better caring for him just doesn't have a nurturing personality?  I hate that I feel like I need to choose between helping a family have enough to eat and wear and my child's emotional and physical development. What would you do?  
 
 I know what I'm leaning towards, because this boy deserves the best, but I'm still torn




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9 comments

  1. i cant believeyou would even have to think twice about the care of your son. why woul you continue with someone you are not completely happy with when it comes to the well being of your child?!

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    1. After reading your comment, I did add a few clarifications above, including the fact that Water has never been neglected and that through employing Ms B, we are supporting at least 10 other people. While I know how important mental and physical stimulation is at these early stages, he does get a lot from us in the evenings and on weekends, and Ms B does engage him, just not the same as we do.

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  2. All things can't be considered equal in life situations. You are very good at balancing multiple scenarios, but your first responsibility is Water and the other kids. The other kids seem to have done very well in the daycare and all the kids would be able to interact and support each other as siblings. Mrs. B will and must work things in her life out on her own. If you end up seeing her on the island, smile and say hello and be confident that you made the right choice...Water. There will always be people who have been in your life that you should be pleasant to and respect. Also Sky is old enough to share with you how Water is doing at the daycare. Continue to love my grandbabies, you two.

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  3. I'm so sorry that you've got this huge dilemma on your hands! But you said it yourself at the end "I know what I'm leaning towards, because this boy deserves the best...". You know what's best for your precious boy!!! So just do it :) Don't worry about pressures or guilt in other areas. Trust your gut!

    But I did want to say THANK YOU for linking up with H54F! We hope to see you next week!!
    Katie @ Cup of Tea

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    1. Thanks for your support Katie. It's not the decision that's hard, it coming to terms with making it, and what my decision means for someone else. It's also hard to accept that we don't have the same relationship that we did with Fire's nanny (which was wonderful).

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  4. Making decisions about child care is soooo hard. Hoping that it will be easier in the coming days to come to terms with your decision, no matter the consequences for others.

    Thanks for signing up with H54F! We hope to have you again!

    Caitlin @ Coffee with Caitlin
    coffeewithcaitlin.com

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    1. Thanks Caitlin, and thanks for hosting H54F and for stopping by.

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  5. I'm so sorry that you have this decision to have to make but you have to do what's best for your child. Trust your motherly instincts. Thank you so much for linking up to High Five for Friday!!!

    Della@Della Devoted
    delladevoted.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks for stopping by Della. I think we've found a solution that will work for everyone but I still hate having to make these kinds of decisions!

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