Poco Malo and Other Happenings

September 11, 2012

  We're trying something new at our house: poco malo.  It means, "little bad" in Spanish and we're using it with Sky.  I took the idea from the book Bringing Up Bebe.  Apparently in French they have a word for the little naughty things that small children do: betise (buh-tees) and having a word for those small bad behaviors helps to moderate their parent's reactions to them. 
  Being that Sky is two-and-a-half, she has a lot of those naughty moments, ones that need to be recognized and corrected but not necessarily punished and this is something that D and I have struggled with a bit as parents.  So we're going to try using "poco malo".  We've been doing it for a few days and I think it's already helping.  It helps D and I to not get really mad at Sky when she does those little things that toddlers do: grab something and run away, throw themselves on the floor when you're trying to get them on the potty, pull all their books off the shelf.  By labeling the action a "poco malo" and asking her to stop, we tell her that what she's doing isn't the right thing to do and that we know she did it but that WE recognize that it's only a little bit bad and doesn't deserve the same level of punishment as biting and throwing things.   
  In case you're wondering why we don't use the English words, saying "little bad" just doesn't seem to carry the same connotation for us.  By qualifying the character of the bad in English, I feel like we would be teaching her that it's okay to be a little bit bad.  If we give those small, naughty actions their own word, we can seperate them from truly bad behavior and treat them with the weight they deserve.  I'll keep you posted on how it goes, but so far, there've been fewer tears and fewer escalations, which is good for everyone.
 
 Other Happenings:
  -We've been saying a lot of goodbyes lately.  Sky's friend Payton and her family headed back to the states, our good friend Brendon leaves today for Antarctica and another friend is leaving for Japan soon.  
  - D is taking another online math class.  He's enjoying it but the homework keeps him pretty busy.
  - I'm playing soccer again this season and we had our first game last night- we lost 0-7.  I'm playing right defender and I'm going to be subbing in for goalie in the next few games. 
  - We're setting up a regular evening at the beach with friends of ours that have children around Sky's and Fire's age.  The longer we do this parenting thing, the more we're realizing how important it is to have friends that are also parents. 
  - I've organized an adoption support group on island.  Our second meeting is this week and I'm pretty excited about it.  It'll be great to be able to connect with parents who've done this a lot longer than we have and to be able to help families just getting started in the process to get their bearings.
  - Fire is seven months old and has been home with us for four months.  He has two teeth now and is an eating machine.  He is trying to crawl but doesn't have the arm-and-leg coordination figured out quite yet.  He still only naps for 20 minutes a go and thinks that Sky is the funniest thing he's ever seen.
  - We're trying Fire in cloth diapers.  My sister-in-law, Liz, sent me some supplies for gDiapers and they're working out so far.  Florina likes them and I like not having to spend $50 each paycheck in diapers.  I've ordered some more so that we can move towards using them full time. 
  -  Sky is growing again.  She's fully into 3T clothes already and is getting more and more picky about what she wants to wear.  She's starting to really talk, to use complete sentences and to tell stories and it's wonderful.  D and I have been waiting for this ever since she came home.  She loves books and is really into princess stories these days.

 

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