Why Am I Brown?

March 24, 2015

   The subject of skin color came up again this weekend.  Sky has noticed before that Mama and Daddy look different than she and her brothers and we've always been open and honest about why: they all grew in other lady's tummy's and not Mama's tummy.  We've always told her that we think her skin is beautiful, that God made her perfectly just as she is, and that we think it would be pretty boring if everyone looked the same. 


  As she gets older, the questions get a little more probing.  This time the questions were specific to us, she and I.  Why is she brown and why am I white?  Why is her friend C white like her parents and her friend G brown like her parents?  We don't talk much about her birth mother (sadly, there's not much to say) but I reminded her that her tummy mommy was brown and that her Daddy V is brown.  We talked about how my parents are white and how Fire's birth parents are brown so he's brown.  We talked about how people don't need to look alike to be family.  Most importantly, I told her (again) how God meant us to be a family.  He knew that we would be the just right parents for Sky and that Sky would be the just right daughter for her daddy and I.  He knew that together we can make each other whole.
  It's a short leap from these questions to some much bigger ones like why if her tummy mommy and Daddy V are brown and she's brown, why isn't she with them any more and why grown ups make the decisions that they do.  One question will naturally lead to another and they all need to be answered at her level.  I know I should say that I wish she didn't have to ask these questions, that she could have stayed with the people she looks like but that would mean that I wouldn't have this amazing girl for my daughter and I would never wish for that.



Because it's best to end deep posts with cute pictures, here are some boxtrolls:



See where I'm linking up here

8 comments

  1. Replies
    1. We had just seen the Boxtrolls movie and we had some boxes around after the mail came. They were trying to stuff each other in them until I cut out the arm holes :)

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  2. I can understand how those questions might pose some challenges to navigate. I love the responses you told her.

    I love your little Boxtrolls too!

    Thanks for sharing and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop.

    Wishing you a lovely evening.
    xoxo

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    1. Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for hosting the Shine blog hop! We try to answer her questions as honestly as we can and to let her lead. There have been some times when I've wished that she didn't look so different from us, just to spare her any anxiety about it, but regardless of what we look like (and believe me, we LOVE the way our kids look) we're a family and that's the message we want her to get out of this.

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  3. My children were older when we adopted them but our skin tones are a topic of conversation often. We say the same thing: we don't have to look alike to be a family :) Thanks for sharing! Jenni (JoyfulJourneyMom.com)

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    1. Exactly! There aren't a lot of other adoptive families out here that I can talk to about things like this, so it's nice to know that I'm on same page as others when it comes to these kinds of questions.
      Thanks for reading!
      Amber

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  4. We still need to see the Boxtrolls! They look so cute and excited.

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    1. My kids loved the movie and they thought it was hilarious to dress up as boxes and then hide. They spent a good 10 minutes "hiding" around the living room in their boxes and then jumping out to surprise us.
      Glad you stopped by!

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