High Five for Friday #22: The Parenting Edition

  Happy Friday, Everyone!  How's your week been?  Between a bad head cold going around the family, Water cutting teeth 7 and 8, Sky acting out because she's not in school in the afternoons anymore, and Fire acting out because he misses Sky, D and I have felt like we're just putting one foot in front of the other right now.  This parenting business is hard.  There are so many times when I would love to do it the easy way, to assert my will over theirs and rule by force, to make them do something "because I said so."  While that would be the easy way, at least for my family it's not the best way.  To get through the challenging times, I'm reaching for every strategy I can find and applying them left and right.  For my Five this Friday, I'll be sharing my resources for parenting in trying times.

#1
When I started writing this post, the plan was to have it be all about the books and blogs I run to when I need help to find a way through something, and those are still going to be in here, but I'm going to be honest with you: they're not my first resource.  This is:

 I'm not overt or evangelical about it here on the blog but I do believe that He is my first, and best, resource and time spent in prayer always helps me center myself and find a way through our toughest times.

#2

The other man in my life:

While he doesn't have all the answers, we can usually find a way through things together. (We can also open each other a beer and toast to having made it through another day!) 

#3

Blogs:

Christine at Welcome to My Brain

Lindsay at Home:A Soft Place to Fall

I've always read other blogs for parenting support (see the sidebar for a full list)  but lately, the two above have been my go-to for idea to get around the numerous behavior challenges we have in our house right now. Neither of these blogs are active right now but I've found lots of suggestions in their archived posts.  Christine also has some great youtube videos with suggestions on handling specific issues like not listening. 

#4

Books:

Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft

The Connected Child

Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control

While no book has offered a relationship and behavior improving silver bullet, these three are the ones I've turned to when I need to understand why something is happening and what we can to modify a negative behavior into a positive one.  We don't subscribe to a single model but keep trying new methods until we find one that works for us.

#5

More Books:

Everything You Ever Wanted

Instant Mom

Sometimes you  just need to read about someone else in the trenches.  Sometimes you just need that reassurance that someone elses trenches are WAY deeper than yours (see Everything You Ever Wanted- we're a bit more like Instant Mom here).  And sometimes, you just need to know that they made it through so you can too. 

With the help of all of these things, D and I are doing our best to funny our way through things, to prescribe behavior, to hug first and talk later, to just "be" with them, to be clear in our expectations, to talk through transitions, to say yes as often as possible, to take deep breaths and confront our own fears, and to do it all with love.  It's not easy but we're putting one foot in front of the other as best we can.

How do you get through hard times in your family?  Have you read any of these blogs or books?  Do you have any others that you would recommend?